Not breaking down at 11pm at night... and My Chemical Romance

I'll save the mental breakdown for about 2am, after I finally realize that I need to work on my actual homework.  No,  I'm not going to break down at all... right? I'm totally mentally stable guys.  Yup.  I'll give you a list of the things that may or may not result in my eventual doom.

Welcome. 

1. This blog post.
I have currently six different posts half-way written because I'm way too critical of my own writing. The only way I get any of these written is because I'm half asleep and slightly on a coffee high.  I am way too good at procrastinating... so I'm doing this now.


2. Sleep
What? Me? Sleeping? No.  I haven't slept at all this week guys... so I'm kinda high on lack of sleep and really tired.  This is not helping me deal with stress.  At all.  I'm having issues doing cognitive stuff.  So after I submit this I'm going to lie in bed and stare at my ceiling and think of all the things I have to do until morning.


3. Debate
I have an LD case that is kinda falling apart at the seems that I have to debate tomorrow.  I need to fix this, find evidence, and structure counter points.  While on less than 3 hours of sleep.  I don't really have a plan on how that's going to work out.  Debate's also another reason I'm writing this now, because I won't be able to submit it at the tournament.


4. School
Guys... really?  Honestly I think you're trying to kill me.  I cannot take another pop quiz or retake of stressful test.  I love learning... but not at the cost of my (always relative) sanity.  I would love a break from school please... without a dramatic drop in that all-important GPA.

I realize that everyone has heard this song, but I still love it.

5. Shtuf
I feel like this list needed a fifth bullet point so I'll just comment on the fact that the (98% pure awesome) Kimball Art Center  volunteering is not really helping with the stress level here.  I would also like to add that TaeKwonDo, however enjoyable and amazing, is a substantial amount of time spent not working, Kimball-ing (a real verb), or LD-ing (also a very real word).

In closing:

I hope you guys have a great week.  :) Loves to you all,
Anna

Source from this awesome Tumblr Blog

If you're one of the many people out there who is suffering, I just want to say that I'm sending you all a massive pile of Anna hugs.  Seriously, I'm kinda just raping you with the amount of caring and love I'm sending you.  I don't care who you are, how much money you have, what you've done.  I. Don't. Care.  You deserve to be happy, you deserve to smile, you deserve to dance to your favorite music and feel free.  I don't care if you don't think that anyone cares, that no one will miss you, because I'm telling you that you do matter.  You can make it through this fight.  Promise.  If anyone needs anything don't hesitate to email me or comment and I will be there for you.  Electronically, because 50% of the time I'm convinced that everyone in the world is a creeper, but I'm still here for you.  Always.  I care about you, I'm always going to.  You are beautiful.  You are wonderful.  You are precious no matter who you are.  You are worth something guys, never forget that.

Goodnight all,

Anna

Shtuf

Apparently I offend some people by being me.  This post is going to be crazy clique probably, but I'm going to go through my thoughts anyways.

We are told to be ourselves.  We are informed that we can be whoever we want.  We are told to follow our dreams, to not change for anyone.
Yet, it seems these statements have quite a bit of hidden clauses and fine print.

Be yourself *as long as we like you*  
Be who you want *just make sure you are exactly the same as everyone else*
Follow your dreams *as long as you want to be a doctor, teacher, or something productive to our society*
Don't change for anyone *unless you're doing life wrong*

Honestly, I'm kinda done with the invisible fine print.  I've tried that route.  I've worn the "right" clothes, and said the "right" things, and taken the "right" courses, and generally just tried to conform with society's expectations.  Now, I have to warn you that this plan is going to  fail epically.  It'll most likely end with a psychotic breakdown from yours truly.  I'm going to try through.  I'm going to start right here.
Here.  A song.



The surface meaning of this song just kinda tells you what I'm trying to say with this blog post... maybe you'll hate it.  Um... administration don't listen if you're offended by expletives.  Whatever.  Anyways, I'm going to try this thing where I don't care whether you hate me, the song, or about your opinion on me in general.  Wish me luck! :D

Or you don't have to, because I don't care whether you do or not.  This is kinda complicated... hmm... I might have to go through the logistics of this whole not caring thing. In the meantime, another song!

Most people hated that one.  Oops.  Hehe :)
I love that song.  It was one of those songs on permanent repeat for about... a month.  I know pretty much every word.  *blushes awkwardly*  Wait... that didn't warrant a blush, because I don't care about whether you thought that was weird.  Oh dear... I'm going to have issues with this.  So... song!

Oh my god! I just want to share all the songs with you guys!! Excitement!! But... I can't.  Too many.  I'll portion myself.  I will have you guys listen to all of these though... they're brilliant. I'll probably get into Motionless In White and others in my next post.  If I remember.

I'll leave you with Between The Trees as a bit of an apology in advance to those who are not a big fan of my type of music.
Loves!
Anna

I have no idea what I would call my music taste... but I loved this.  So I got it from here.

Sleep... Is Nice

I'm bored in class so I'm just going to write some random crap for this poorly-maintained and abandoned blog.  I'm pretty sure if this blog was human it would have some serious abandonment issues... anyways.  I'm very tired.  And will most likely delete this later.  But yeh.  I'm tired... and bored... and in AP Geo class.  It's also really cold.  Like cold cold cold cold.  *Shiver* No one else seems to be cold... but I'm slightly turning into a mini Anna block of ice... hmmm... bye!
Anna